Friday, March 30, 2007

Zombies and the Greater Tokyo Bulgarian Conspiracy

In Tokyo these days (and presumably all major cities in Japan), a non-trivial portion of the population walks around, both on sidewalks and in train stations, consulting the tiny screen of their mobile phone like it contains the only thing worthy of their attention. Lyani and I have dubbed such individuals "zombies", as they shamble around, completely oblivious to the world around them. Except that these zombies value text messaging, web browsing, and playing Final Fantasy more than sweet sweet human brains.

As I have frequently noted here, Bulgarians have invaded Tokyo in great numbers. Their diabolical plan has but one weakness: for one month out of the year, they can be easily detected by the fact that they will be wearing at least one martenitsa.

I was at a TLUG meeting a couple of weeks ago, and noticed that a guy behind me was wearing something red and white on his wrist. At the break, I gave him the secret Bulgarian conspiracy challenge, and he responded correctly. We exchanged the secret handshake and spoke no more of this.

It has been a long time since I have written anything here. A combination of lack of time and lack of motivation is to blame; I think the finally breaking spring weather (and the sakura that it entails) is responsible for supplying me with the desire to write something.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm a zonbie too...
One time I almost loose my life with a big camion at the Shinjuku south station. I was written my email in the phone and that was the only important think in my life in that moment... I didn't realize that outside there was something called cars, camions, and buses..

The second time, I get lost, just reading the important email, so I forget that I was on the street because I planed to go to some place...

The more strange thought at the camion incident in Shinjuku was that after some minutes walking in the street I heard the sound of an ambulance... at that point I started to think about "maybe I'm already die... and that ambulance is going to take my body... now I'm a phantom with a keitai walking at shinjuku directed to some place near the shibuya border..."
So I tried to see if the people on the street noticed my presence but they didn't... at Tokyo sometimes you can walk and nobody notice that you exist...
So I decided to call my best friend and asked to her to say to me If I was died or alive... she asked to me if I was drunk...

At that point I realized that maybe that conversation was a post mortem dream, so... actually maybe this comment is a dream too...

Josh are you alive? Is Tlug real?

Anonymous said...

Things aren't much better here in the States G-. One example, the other day at the bank... let me inject here, the bank recently put flat screens above each teller... anyway these flat screens were pumping network news. It was the 'most important' story of the time Anna Nicole and her incredible life. As the news spilled its latest drama, a lady in line half mouthed half repeated each phrase the talking head spoke. It was zombie style all the way, 'shawn of the dead' zombie style.

Totally unrelated: There is a new Evidence LP 'Exihibit A' for all you Dilated junkies.

C